Trust

 

c. 1200, "reliance on the veracity, integrity, or other virtues or sound principles of someone or something; religious faith," probably from Old Norse traust "help, confidence, protection, support," from Proto-Germanic abstract noun *traustam (source also of Old Frisian trast, Dutch troost "comfort, consolation," Old High German trost "trust, fidelity," German Trost "comfort, consolation," Danish trøst, Gothic trausti "agreement, alliance").

My understanding of trust in a relationship, an institution, a situation has shifted through this spiritual journey.  I used to think of trust as something that had to do with the qualities of the other person, they were either trustworthy or they were not. Someone was trustworthy if they treated me with respect, kindness and consideration, forgave me when I acted badly, mostly came through with what they promised.  Trust was broken when I was let down in these ways and, once broken, hard to reconcile.

But what relationship ever escapes the pain of slights, betrayals, hurts, and neglect? Repairing trust that has been broken is what deepens our relationships.  Which isn’t to say that all relationships should be salvaged.  Sometimes the broken trust requires a strong boundary to maintain one’s safety and integrity, to keep another from harming again. But not always. As we become more self-aware to the many ways in which we also harm in speech and action and understand how hard it can be to be kind and generous in the world, we start to cut our friends and relations some slack and take slights less personally.  

In this way, betrayal of trust can become a threshold into a deeper knowing of trust.  This is about trust in ourselves not a judgement about the trustworthiness of another.  A knowing that when we come into contact with another's woundedness, pain, and confusion that we will have the tensile strength and fluidity to respond in ways that support our own growth, integrity, and compassion.