Entering the heart

 

Identifying with murky thoughts and feelings is like looking in a distorted mirror or muddied lake. Those unclear images are often reinforced by the outside world. When we identify with grumpy or angry thoughts, the mind beams them outwards….As we come to understand that our nature is joy and love, perceived suffering is unable to take root. Realizing that we do not have to be bound by any one interpretation, we alter our mode of identification. We then recognize and relate to our highest consciousness.

Nichala Joy Devi, The Secret Power of Yoga

It can be hard to see anything beyond our own self-centered projections onto situations. When I feel shame, it seems as if the cause of the shame is outside of me not inside.  I have been shamed. When I feel irritated, my mind locks onto some event or interaction to blame. My sense of self, grasping for security in outer events, is thrown off by the smallest of obstacles.  I feel hemmed into a small and dark place by the overwhelm.  In yogic terms, this is yoga citta vrtti, when consciousness fluctuates with the over identification with outer circumstances.  The opposite of this is citta vrtti nirodha when the consciousness settles into the inner heart and we see things with greater perspective, less self-centered, more complexity.  Rather than identification with outer events, we become integrated with them.  We feel integrated when we can tune into the flow of lifeforce (prana) like a river moving through us and everything. 

When we forget the deeper self or are cut-off from this integration because of our wounds, we have little stability navigating in the chaos of the outer world. Rooted in the experience of the soul, though, we can find our way around obstacles like the flow of a river around rocks.  To become so tender as the flow of water, the ego has to die to its grand illusions of itself. And like any death there will be grief in this letting go. But also the capacity for joy.  With spiritual practices, for this like anything new needs to be cultivated through practice, we can find equanimity even when facing the strongest winds. And with equanimity navigate with more creativity, faith, and courage.