Stumbling

On the scree section of the new Fox's... © Jeremy Bolwell cc-by-sa/2.0 :: Geograph Britain and Ireland 

When asked what the monks did at the monastery, St. Benedict said, “We fall down and get up, fall down and get up, fall down and get up.”

Recounted in a talk by James Finley

 

We stumble through life setting goals thinking they will make us happy only to fail miserably or if we reach these goals feel elated for about five minutes before we need another success fix.  Avidya or ignorance in yoga philosophy or the false egoic self in the contemplative Christian philosophy drives our relentless pursuit of happiness through achievements, power, money, and the accumulation of things and relationships.  It can take many years of “failures” and “humiliations” to begin to see that something about this just doesn’t seem to work. 

 

Spiritual and meditation practices provide steppingstones and insights towards the source of contentment that surpasses fluctuating circumstances. But it’s not a one-shot deal where we learn the lesson and then are fine with things, becoming perfect spiritual beings.  We were not made to learn this lesson easily nor to be perfect spiritual beings!  The material world is endlessly tantalizing to our senses in all that it can provide to fill our hunger for belonging, acceptance, and love.  The spiritual sustenance we seek while as close to us as our breath remains imperceptible in our busyness, distractions, and woundedness.  We need spiritual direction and practices daily to pull us away from the distraction, to draw the senses inward, to settle down into silence and solitude where the inner belonging can be found and healed. We will forget this again and again, stumbling into small-mindedness especially when tested by difficulties. But the stumbling teaches us that we are still growing.  Facing the inevitable obstacles on the spiritual journey provide the necessary struggle to keep us humble which is the currency of for growth.

 

Overtime, we start to feel more comfortable with the stumbling and recognize it for what is just another thing that the ego is clinging to so that it doesn’t have to feel so vulnerable and afraid. And we can come to let that go into love, into God, so that another part might be healed and integrated into our being. Stumbling itself becomes a holy threshold.

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